Near the end of last week’s parsha, Yitzchak brought Rivka into Sarah’s tent, and the Torah tells us וַיֶּאֱהָבֶהָ, he loved her (Bereishit 24:67). This week the word “love” comes back, twice in one pasuk, and this time it divides the family.
וַיֶּאֱהַב יִצְחָק אֶת עֵשָׂו כִּי צַיִד בְּפִיו וְרִבְקָה אֹהֶבֶת אֶת יַעֲקֹב׃
“Yitzchak loved Eisav, because the hunt was in his mouth, and Rivka loves Yaakov.” (Bereishit 25:28)
Two questions. One pasuk earlier, Rashi tells us that once the boys turned thirteen, Yaakov went off to the batei midrash and Eisav went off to avodah zarah. How could Yitzchak, who himself was ready to be brought up as a korban on the mizbe’ach, love a son like Eisav? And why does the Torah give a reason for Yitzchak’s love, “because the hunt was in his mouth,” but no reason at all for Rivka’s?
Rashi and Rabbeinu Bachya – Hunting With His Mouth
Rashi (Bereishit 25:28) brings two readings of בְּפִיו, “in his mouth.” According to Onkelos, it was Yitzchak’s mouth: Eisav fed his father from what he caught. According to the Midrash, it was Eisav’s mouth: he trapped his father with his words. The pasuk before tells us how (25:27). Eisav would ask, “Abba, how do we take maaser from salt and from straw?” Neither one needs maaser at all, but the question made Yitzchak think his son was careful in every detail of the mitzvot.
Rabbeinu Bachya (Bereishit 25:28) says Eisav was a hunter in two places. In the field he hunted animals, and at home he hunted his father’s good opinion with clever words. Compare what Rashi says about Yaakov, the אִישׁ תָּם: כְּלִבּוֹ כֵּן פִּיו, his mouth matched his heart, whereas Eisav’s mouth was a trap he used to reach his goals.
Malbim – What Yitzchak Was Hoping For
The Malbim (Bereishit 25:28) explains what Yitzchak saw in him. Eisav was born first, and Yitzchak thought he was the firstborn who would inherit the spiritual gifts of Avraham’s family. Yitzchak had never heard what Hashem told Rivka before the twins were born, וְרַב יַעֲבֹד צָעִיר, “the older will serve the younger” (25:23). The Malbim also brings, in the name of the Abarbanel, that Eisav brought his father food from his hunting, and Yitzchak thought his son was keeping the mitzvah of kibbud av (honoring a father). Rivka knew what Hashem had said, and she saw the boys’ deeds more closely, so she loved Yaakov.
Yitzchak’s love was not foolish. It was a father’s hope in his oldest son.
The Or HaChaim HaKadosh – A Show for an Audience of One
The Or HaChaim HaKadosh (Bereishit 25:28) asks a sharp question on the Midrash. If Eisav put on a show of frumkeit with questions about salt and straw, why only for Yitzchak and not for Rivka? He answers that Eisav was not worried about the mitzvah at all. He was afraid his father would curse him, and he was hoping for his father’s brachot. Rivka had no brachot to give, so he did not bother.
He brings a proof from later in the parsha. After Yaakov receives the brachot, Eisav thinks, יִקְרְבוּ יְמֵי אֵבֶל אָבִי, “soon my father will die and we will sit in mourning” (27:41), and then he (Eisav) will kill Yaakov. He mentions only his father, not his mother. Everything Eisav did was aimed at one person and one goal. So why didn’t Rivka tell Yitzchak what Eisav was really like? Perhaps, says the Or HaChaim, Eisav made sure to play this game only when she was not there.
Kli Yakar – A Love That Depends on Something
Now to our second question: why does the Torah give a reason for Yitzchak’s love? The Kli Yakar (Bereishit 25:28) gives two answers. First, when Yitzchak asked Eisav what he did in the field all day, Eisav had an excuse ready: I am hunting to bring food for my father. He was hardly ever home, so Rivka did not come to love him the way she loved Yaakov, who stayed close to her. (Rav Steinsaltz gives the same simple reason for Rivka’s love: perhaps because Yaakov lived at home, near her.)
His second answer goes deeper. The word כִּי, “because,” also tells us when. Yitzchak loved Eisav at the time Eisav put food in his mouth, and only then. Once the meal was eaten, בָּטֵל דָּבָר בָּטֵל אַהֲבָה, the reason was gone and the love went with it. But Rivka loved Yaakov עַל לֹא דָבָר, for no reason at all, and a love like that never ends.
The Kli Yakar is using the language of the Mishnah in Pirkei Avot (5:16): כָּל אַהֲבָה שֶׁהִיא תְלוּיָה בְדָבָר, בָּטֵל דָּבָר, בְּטֵלָה אַהֲבָה, a love that depends on something ends when that something ends, and a love that depends on nothing never ends. That is why the Torah gives a reason for one love and not for the other. A love with a reason can be explained. A love with no reason does not need to be.
Two Kinds of Love
Eisav hunted with his mouth, saying what his father wanted to hear (Rashi, Rabbeinu Bachya), and he did it only where there was something to gain (Or HaChaim). Yitzchak was not simply fooled. He hoped Eisav would be the firstborn who carried on the family’s mission (Malbim). But the Torah ties that love to what Eisav brought to the table, and a love like that lasts only as long as the meal (Kli Yakar). Rivka’s love for Yaakov had no reason attached, and so it had no end.
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks reads the pasuk another way. In his view, Yitzchak was not fooled at all. He knew exactly who Eisav was, and he knew that the covenant would continue through Yaakov, yet he loved Eisav for the simplest reason: Eisav was his son. Rabbi Sacks suggests that Yitzchak learned this from his own life. His father had once bound him on the mizbe’ach (akeida), and his brother Yishmael had been sent away from home. Yitzchak would not do either one to his own child. He could disapprove of what Eisav did and still hold him close. The family edition of Rabbi Sacks’s essay ties this to the advice of Rav Avraham Yitzchak Kook – a child who has left the derech should be loved even more than one who has kept to it. A parent does not give up on a wayward child.
The Haftarah – “I Have Loved You”
This week’s haftarah (Malachi 1:1–2:7) opens with the same two brothers. ‘אָהַבְתִּי אֶתְכֶם אָמַר ה, “I have loved you, says Hashem,” and the people ask, בַּמָּה אֲהַבְתָּנוּ, “how have You loved us?” Hashem answers: הֲלוֹא אָח עֵשָׂו לְיַעֲקֹב… וָאֹהַב אֶת יַעֲקֹב, “Isn’t Eisav Yaakov’s brother? Yet I loved Yaakov” (Malachi 1:2).
The Malbim there explains the question. Perhaps we could have thought Hashem loves us only because of the Avot, as an inheritance. No, says the navi. If the love were only for the Avot, Eisav would have a share in it too, since he was also their son. Hashem loves Yaakov, and us, for ourselves.
According to the Kli Yakar, Yitzchak’s love for Eisav rested on what Eisav brought him. Hashem’s love for us is the kind we read about in Pirkei Avot: it does not depend on what we bring.
May we find compassion and understanding to have love for all, even for those (including children) who are misguided – for love is the way of Hashem. In that zechut (merit), may we merit the love of Hashem, who says אָהַבְתִּי אֶתְכֶם.
Shabbat Shalom,
Moshe
Kislev 5787